Not that long ago we could have discussions with family, friends, colleagues, and clients about many topics in a civil way. Unfortunately, nowadays many such conversations are fraught with politics and anger. These conversations are still necessary for us as a country, a civil society and, specifically, environmental and energy discussions to serve our clients. How can we have such conversations without someone blowing up, making an uncomfortable scene, and perhaps losing a friend or client?

Whether it’s getting together with family for the holidays or talking about environmental, energy, or other policies with colleagues and clients, here are several approaches that should result in a meaningful exchange of views, avoiding acrimony, leading to respect.

1. Ask open-ended, nonjudgmental questions. Try to inquire how a situation impacts that person personally or how the company operates, and/or its bottom line. As an example, ask a person how a certain rule or availability of a fuel impacts their lives or company. Remember, that even the best-intentioned rules that you agree with may have a harsh impact on certain others.

2. Listen carefully to that person’s answer, even if you disagree with it. Even if you feel that this person is too sensitive to the impacts or you believe he or she is exaggerating them, remember it is still important to that person or company. Therefore, listen with respect, so that you expand your understanding of the family member, friend, or client. Don’t presume you know every situation, even if you know the person or company well.

3. Echo back to this person their viewpoint; summarize back the person’s answer or concerns. Upon hearing it from somebody else, he or she may think about it and modify the stance. At a minimum, the person will have to acknowledge they are being listened to, a feeling missing in the current polarized world. Many times I have done this with others and see genuine smiles of gratitude on their faces.

4. Find and verbalize any areas where you agree with this person. Avoid verbalizing disagreements; at least initially. State where you agree with this person’s point of view; show sympathy. State that you understand that a certain rule may have an outsized impact on that person or firm, that they are doing their best to comply, and that you wish the rule can be tweaked to make things easier for the person or firm. At this point, you could begin to gently provide your view about the overall good of the rule, mention other impacts of the rule that the person may not realize are beneficial, or suggest ways to lessen the perceived negative impacts.

5. Story-telling is a good way to engender a civil conversation. Share your thoughts by telling a real story about a similar experience that happened to you in your personal life or with a prior project or client. I have done this a number of times to show I understand and to let this person know that he or she is not alone, that others are impacted, too, and that there are ways to minimize such impacts.

You never know. Such an approach might lead to exploring opportunities to improve the person or firm’s life; a chance for a new, beneficial project. I have worked with many clients over the decades whose views toward energy and environmental rules are fundamentally different from mine. While these five tips are no guarantee of success, these can go a long way toward having healthy family interactions and foster positive, long-term business and client relationships, too.

CCES has the experience to help you evaluate and make the best of environmental and energy rules that impact your company. Contact us today at 914-584-6720 or at karell@CCESworld.com.